Tuesday, 28 August, 2007

I M BACK..!!..

Well, i know i deserve to be crucified for being lazy enough to be absent from my blog for so long

I could site the fact that the wi-fy in my hostel wasn't working or that i just didn't have the time(which would be well, as far from the fact as could be) or that i was in relatively deeper throes of depression than usual..

well, whatever i might say...the truth is simply that i was too lazy to as much as open my own blog, or for that matter, that of others

so you wonder what has brought me back from my slumber into the ever bubbling and growing bloggers' universe...


this new 3 days off per week schedule which we fourth years' are blessed(or rather cursed) with, a rumie who has gone back to bed for want of anything better to do, no friends worth talking to on gtalk or yahoo, insomnia, heartbreak(well, i sometimes wonder how long it would be before my heart is ground to dust under the constant assaults it bears), mosquitoes, a need to ramble about nothing in particular..well whatever the reason might be.. i m back!!

a lot has most certainly not happened in my life in the last few weeks i have been absent from my space...

but anyway here goes the countdown of the highlights of my life this last few weeks..

1. college is now open so i am in Gurgaon and not sleeping my days off at home.

2. i have grown to about twice my size in these holidays..as a result, my friends went into shock on seeing me and gave me an ultimatum that if i didn't want to end up like an over weight killer whale i had to do some drastic slimming down..

the brighter side of course was that i got to revamp my whole wardrobe as none of my clothes fitted me anymore..and since i love getting new clothes..well did you hear me complain too loud? ;)

3. lost my best friend to that most potent of all poisons..love

4. got placed in accenture in addition to infosys, something that has done not much accept add to my already mammoth list of confusions (by the way if any of you have more idea about the software industry than i do..please do share your view on the subject "which would be better to join as an assistant engineer straight out of college- Infosys or accenture??" i shall be obliged :D)

5. got my result..quite to my surprise(a pleasant one for a change) i passed in all the subjects

6. misplaced my trust and belief and demands and am stuck in this mire with no way out without tearing a lot of heart ligaments (nothing unusual there, this is quite a usual state of life for me )

7. wrote my first poem in over three years and posted it on my blog...hated it

8.lost one of my oldest friends to depression(my own not hers'..she is just fed up of seeing me at the end..refer to point 6.)

9.know exactly what i should be doing and as usual doing exactly the opposite of it even though its shredding me to ribbons...

10. getting bored to death, may be they'll have to hold a funeral soon.. ;) :D

in short..not much to share..and i can attribute this post to nothing except an insistent desire to write..

well hopefully, my next post wouldn't be as dismal as this..so watch this space for something better to come..as i said, hope..

Monday, 27 August, 2007

i stand here lost...

i stand here lost and betrayed
the price of trust, so high
with my tears, i seem to have paid

as sad and broken i lie,
upon this rough hard stone
i hear from my lips a sigh,
and shudder to my very bone

what was my fault,
but to trust with all my heart
to open that sweet vault,
to one who simply took it apart

i loved and i cared,
but all i got in return
is this pain i had so feared,
and a soul just left to burn

and not for the first time,
i have had my heart bled
by one who doesn't care a dime,
about the despairs that render me dead

where is the hope and joy,
that would light this sordid dark
stop my heart being treated as a toy,
and make it sing like a lark

i beg u take the hurt away,
to let me soar from this abyss
at whose edge i here sway,
and see my life go amiss

unbind the ropes that bind me,
give me back my golden wings
from this autumn let me flee,
to get drenched in the bright springs

i stand here lost and alone,
but not for long i hope
unturned my heart would be from stone,
and no longer in darkness shall i grope...