Wednesday, 26 September, 2007

Wednesday, 19 September, 2007


Well, a little while ago during one of my random blog reading sessions, i came across something called a tag..
since it was something new and seemed interesting, i was really dying to be tagged

and now that i finally managed to get myself tagged by soup(thnku thnku thnku!!! :D)

here it goes...

1) As my profile says, i am full of contradictions..i am different people at different times with different people in different worlds with different thoughts and different motives..

2) i have a tendency of getting too attached to the people i love and can be very possessive. Grrrrrhhh..!!!!

3) i just looooove acting like a kid and being pampered.

4) i love getting myself photographed, i don't care what anyone else says..but i think i am photogenic :D

5) i love reading and writing and right now, blogging :D

6) i am an incurably hopeless romantic.

7) my ultimate wish in life is to be free..i am still figuring out what it is i wish to be free from..

8) well, this might come as a surprise to people who think i am all sweet and mush..but when it comes to bitching about certain people [;)] i tend to get veeeeeeery enthusiastic any guesses who make up my favourite topics??[:D]

Monday, 17 September, 2007

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Sunday, 16 September, 2007


Well there is absolutely nothing like a trip back home to recharge your batteries

and now i am back from one..back with all my lost exuberance and zest for life

well slept..well fed..and more than anything well loved..thats how i feel right now..

all i did at home was sleep sleep eat n eat(as a result of which i am fatter than ever :D )

and yes i did go to my nani's place and played wall-e-ball with little kids ranging from 2-5 yr was awesome..had the best time i had had in a loooooooooong time

there is something about being with kids..i turn into a kid for anything..or may be i never really grew up..this kid is always lurking below the surface..ready to run away and take control..

so there i was running around jumping hurling the big red beach ball across the wall just with all the gusto and competitiveness of a 5 yr old..a kid again

an it was a real blessing..incomparable bliss :sigh:

it was as if all the tensions of the grown up world melted away and all that was left.. were the hoots of joy every time the ball flew across the low wall to the other team's side and the little scared mispronounced "shits" from those little mouths each time we lost a point

in the end we managed to lose one match and win one

but above all that the evening earned me some well-compensated-for challas in my feet,

the title for the best di everrr which sounded so much better than any title i have ever earned

and a wake-up call..a reminder of what i had been losing out on.. a reminder of what it is like to live life in moments and not let the rest bog you down..

that one evening of complete abandon did more to raise my spirits and pull me out of the dark pit of depression than n number of counseling sessions or heart-to-heart talks could ever do..

i don't know..i just feel so good right now..
nothing else matters..

you can hurt me all you want..

pull me down..

rob me of money.. rob me of dignity.. rob me of love..

but u can't take this away from me..

can't rob me of these moments..the moments i call life...

so here i am rejuvenated..back from zombie-land into the land of laughter and fun..jokes and abandon..

back to living up to my name...Umang aka Exuberance :D

Wednesday, 12 September, 2007

I am happy tonight...

I am happy tonight..i don't know why..

but tonight i feel content..happy in my own skin..

I feel adventurous..up for anything..yet i feel peace

nothing has really changed in my life in comparison to yesterday

I am no stronger...

my enemies no weaker...

I am still not studying..
In fact, I added "flunking in one of the exams i gave today" to my list of non successes..

The dinner in the mess was just as inedible as yesterday and the rajma worse than ever.

I am still sitting in my hot room with a long-gone-kaput cooler,
with mosquitoes aiming at every bit of bare flesh and insects of every shape, size and sting, running up my shorts..

I am still sitting here, up at 3:30 in the morning with nothing to do except staring at my laptop..reading random blogs..talking to people i wouldn't even say hello to in college...unable to sleep

yet tonight this night doesn't haunt me..i am at peace with it..on good terms with my insomnia..

I am feeling happy tonight..

I am thinking happy thoughts..

I am thinking of love and yet not of tears..i am thinking of roses and yet not of thorns ..i am thinking of God and yet not of retribution

my room mates have long gone to bed..the lights are out..the silence complete

I am all alone..and yet, for the first time in ages, i am not lonely

I am feeling happy tonight

I am humming a song to myself.."here i am, this is me.." its a happy song..a hopeful song and i feel happy

I feel like getting up and dancing to myself..something i haven't done in ages..hmmm..may be i'll do it once i am done with writing this..

may be its just a phase..may be its just a moment..i don't care..i am enjoying this break from the past..this lull in the storm..this freedom from morbid thoughts and painful poems

I don't know how long this juncture is going to last..all i know is that..

I am happy tonight..

Which fantasy character i am

Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You?

Monday, 10 September, 2007


i stand here alone and friendless
with fingers pointing my way
accusing me of crimes,
i know not of, i say

i shout out my innocence
till i feel my throat tear
but not a single ear is here
not a single word they hear

i am tired and i am ashamed
of standing here, cowering and bent
begging to be left alone by them
who are killing me with insult

i feel my head spin
the voices echoing fast
accusing and harsh they fall
bringing me to my knees at last

i am lost and dead, a sacrifice
on the alter of caprice and lies
divested and slayed i am
by the mighty sword of vice...

Saturday, 8 September, 2007

Thinking of you...

I sat here today, thinking of you
of memories gone by, old and new..

of the laughter that we spilled, to the tears not so dry
of the games we played, and the dreams we let fly
of the songs that you sung, so raucous to the ear
yet mellow to my soul, to my heart so near

i thought today, of those everlasting talks
the picnics we shared, those long winding walks
of those sweet good-nights, and the wake up calls
of the care we felt, the doubts all false

you came into my life, raised me anew
gave me back my wings, guided me till i flew
you held me close, kept me warm in the snow
gave a spring to my step, and to my cheeks a glow

you flirted, made play
yet many a personal dragon, you helped me slay
you tempted me, yet made me strong
made me accept things, i had deemed wrong

i sat here today, thinking of the bad times too
of the times you made me cry, the hell you put me through
of the mistakes we made, the hurt we let loose
of the times i hated you, these times make me muse

i think, i smile,at the past we left behind
regrets that should have been, the rues i fail to find
i am to you, but a whiff from the past
yes i know, it's only the memories that last

we both glided away, into our worlds, so far
and looking back today, is like seeing a distant star
strange and far off, these memories seem to be
yet like that eternal star, they shall shine down on me..

as i sat here today, thinking of you
as i wrote it all down, and read it through
i felt something melt, yes, i finally let you go
and i sit here calm, just letting my tears flow...

Friday, 7 September, 2007


If God is All-Powerful, then nothing a human being does could affect him. For, if a human act could please or displease God, then human beings would have power over God.
So either, God is not All-Powerful or God doesn't give a hoot what you or i do. But if God isn't All-Powerful, then He isn't really God and He couldn't send us to hell even if He wanted to. So, sin at well; for, either God doesn't care what we do or he cares but can't do anything about it.

P.S. this was as one of the passages in the MOCK SNAP. food for thought isn't it...
well, now i can finally put my guilty conscience to rest for good :D

Thursday, 6 September, 2007


Tears oh! tears, why don't you come
to fall away, reduce the pain some..

I need you to drown my sorrows in
to wash the guilt and purge my sin

I pray and i beg, come make me strong
as i sit here in the dark, hiding from the throng

Flow down my cheeks, and my soul
cleanse my heart, make me whole

Slide down the length of these dirty planes
like the rain drops slide down the window panes

Come not like the gentle shower
but destroy me with a torrent of far

Let me as a Phoenix rise anew
from the ashes of my past slew

As deeper deeper you shall fall
weightless and free my heart shall soar

So tears oh! tears come forth come hither
leave your humble abode and save me from wither...

Monday, 3 September, 2007

My soaring heart

As i look through my glass window
out onto the rain drenched grass
i see it all shine with a wild glow
and free itself from all that's crass

as i hear the patter of the wild drops
onto my widow of solid glass
i feel my heart do little flip flops
whining to be free of its cage of glass

i wish i could feel the drops on my face
washing away all the tarnished paint
leaving behind a peace in its place
and a soul without any worldly taint

i wish i could climb out though this glass
and touch the vibrancy of this colourful play
walk barefoot in the soothing grass
and roll in the flowerbeds like a dreamy stray

i wish i could fly off into the heavenly spray
jump onto a cloud of fluff and snow
with its dense depths to lose my way
and feel the springs of love flow

i wish i could mount the horse of pain
befriend it,be one with it
not let it be my bane

i wish and i wish till i reach the end of my wit
and then..then i feel my heart soar
free with its wishes
at last,
free from its binding core

higher and higher it rises thus
breaking through the glass
with no more fuss
feeling the wet grass
with the tip of its lip
ringing with the wind
like a leather whip..
one with every wish
one with each dream
higher and higher it rises thus..