Wednesday 12 September 2007

I am happy tonight...

I am happy tonight..i don't know why..

but tonight i feel content..happy in my own skin..

I feel adventurous..up for anything..yet i feel relaxed..at peace

nothing has really changed in my life in comparison to yesterday

I am no stronger...

my enemies no weaker...

I am still not studying..
In fact, I added "flunking in one of the exams i gave today" to my list of non successes..

The dinner in the mess was just as inedible as yesterday and the rajma worse than ever.

I am still sitting in my hot room with a long-gone-kaput cooler,
with mosquitoes aiming at every bit of bare flesh and insects of every shape, size and sting, running up my shorts..

I am still sitting here, up at 3:30 in the morning with nothing to do except staring at my laptop..reading random blogs..talking to people i wouldn't even say hello to in college...unable to sleep

yet tonight this night doesn't haunt me..i am at peace with it..on good terms with my insomnia..

I am feeling happy tonight..


I am thinking happy thoughts..

I am thinking of love and yet not of tears..i am thinking of roses and yet not of thorns ..i am thinking of God and yet not of retribution

my room mates have long gone to bed..the lights are out..the silence complete

I am all alone..and yet, for the first time in ages, i am not lonely

I am feeling happy tonight

I am humming a song to myself.."here i am, this is me.." its a happy song..a hopeful song and i feel happy

I feel like getting up and dancing to myself..something i haven't done in ages..hmmm..may be i'll do it once i am done with writing this..

may be its just a phase..may be its just a moment..i don't care..i am enjoying this break from the past..this lull in the storm..this freedom from morbid thoughts and painful poems

I don't know how long this juncture is going to last..all i know is that..

I am happy tonight..

9 comments:

Jatin....Destroyed in Love said...

lovely blog miss

umangexuberance said...

@jatin...
thanks mister
;)

Loquacious Devil said...

This has to be my favourite thing out of everything you have written so far. Feels so good to see you write such a post.. Hope you see many such "phases" n hope whenever they come, they last for a long long time.. I won't say forever, coz if that happens, I know you'll hate it ;) :P

n Jokes apart.. This is a lovely thought.. Being able to spot these small moments of happiness amidst modest circumstances.. Life's so gooooooood!
Shit! your post is contagious.. :sneaky: :D :D

or maybe I'm drunk..

PS: Don't hate me for all this please.. :D :D :D

humbl devil said...

quite a happy go-lucky post...
brought a smile to my face...
:)

Anonymous said...

Happy to c ya happy dudette :) ;)

~Tabz

DestinyFavChild said...

u knw wat...u will hav to find such happiness in nothing moments...survival tricks..learnt after much effort :| :P

umang said...

@loquacious devil
i hope so too :)

@humbl devil
thnks
feels good that after such a long time i still have the ability to make someone smile
hope i can do this more often :)

@tabz
thnx dude ;)

@destinyfavchild
we are all learning buddy
when life is an empty void..its this thing called "nothing" which gives you everything from sorrow to happiness..

oblique-skeptic said...

yeah..phases..it happens to me every once in a while too when contrarily to how i usually am, i manage to remain happy..manage to hum something which is not sad grunge or death metal, manage to almost dance while walking, manage to smile, manage not to mind the fact that tomorrow could possibly be worse...

oh yea!

cheers to these phases.
wish ya many more ov'em.


nd, hey..u've got a nice blog.. :)

umangexuberance said...

@oblique skeptic
thnx
i can say the same for yours
and life as i say is always about moments,phases and the contradictions :)