I am happy tonight...

I am happy tonight..i don't know why..

but tonight i feel content..happy in my own skin..

I feel adventurous..up for anything..yet i feel relaxed..at peace

nothing has really changed in my life in comparison to yesterday

I am no stronger...

my enemies no weaker...

I am still not studying..
In fact, I added "flunking in one of the exams i gave today" to my list of non successes..

The dinner in the mess was just as inedible as yesterday and the rajma worse than ever.

I am still sitting in my hot room with a long-gone-kaput cooler,
with mosquitoes aiming at every bit of bare flesh and insects of every shape, size and sting, running up my shorts..

I am still sitting here, up at 3:30 in the morning with nothing to do except staring at my laptop..reading random blogs..talking to people i wouldn't even say hello to in college...unable to sleep

yet tonight this night doesn't haunt me..i am at peace with it..on good terms with my insomnia..

I am feeling happy tonight..


I am thinking happy thoughts..

I am thinking of love and yet not of tears..i am thinking of roses and yet not of thorns ..i am thinking of God and yet not of retribution

my room mates have long gone to bed..the lights are out..the silence complete

I am all alone..and yet, for the first time in ages, i am not lonely

I am feeling happy tonight

I am humming a song to myself.."here i am, this is me.." its a happy song..a hopeful song and i feel happy

I feel like getting up and dancing to myself..something i haven't done in ages..hmmm..may be i'll do it once i am done with writing this..

may be its just a phase..may be its just a moment..i don't care..i am enjoying this break from the past..this lull in the storm..this freedom from morbid thoughts and painful poems

I don't know how long this juncture is going to last..all i know is that..

I am happy tonight..