serious desperate crap!!!

Well, ever since i came home for my holidays...life has been one lazy
ride..

My schedule includes:-

-waking up at ten with my mom screaming something about not even
making my bed in time

-eating a large breakfast

-watching tv till my mom switches it off and literally throws me
into the bathroom

-watching some more tv till its time for lunch...

-eating a heavy lunch (the reason i don't fit into my jeans anymore)

-fighting with my sister over everything from the remote to the lappi
to why she keeps pulling my cheeks etc...

-dozing off in the afternoon like a ninety year old

-using the internet on my lappi(when i manage to wrestle it fro my sister)

-writing useless posts in my blog and if even that dries up then browsing
through blog templates just to pass time

-chatting with old pals about the same good old boredom every day

-staring at the ceiling planning everything from next years vacations
to my cousins wedding, contemplating the most imaginative ways of
committing suicide or working out what i could have been if not a dumb
engineer in the making(a career i already detest)

-well then its time for dinner...
and after that is my favorite time of the day...my walk when i get
some solitude and listen to all those old songs and himesh hits
the 4 fm channels we get here play...
which gets me thinking if himesh with his nasal twang cap and
stubble could be the reigning rock star what i need to come up with
to make it big...

-well its time to drop off to sleep again

I think boredom kills you slowly..as my friend put it...we are on our
own extended funerals..

i know what i have written absolute crap here but as i said this is
my only salvation and if i don't get anything else to do i might
turn into a compulsive writer soon...

desperado..::SIGH::

Belonging

people talk about belonging, of having roots...

but i, i don't belong

i am not a tree, held in place by its roots, a silent sufferer,
stuck...unable to fight back or run...bound

i do not belong to any person, any place, any culture, any religion..
i am free, of facets, habits, choices and desires

for me they all change as i change

i have no master and no slaves...

no one owns me...not even myself

i am like the wind...

get the right glider and i'll let you fly with me but try to put me
in a box or shape me with a mold and i am gone....without a trace..

my freedom is what i live for what i am and what i ever will be..

and i'll never let anyone take it away...

dream of owning me delude yourself...if you want to..it will amuse me for a while
and i'll let you live this illusion but then...then i'll be gone..

in a new direction to explore a new frontier...on a new path flying free...

getting to the the end of this universe and plunging forth beyond it to find my own..

The Memories Would Stay...

Through a mist of the future,
i look at the past;
Through a curtain of memories,
i stare at what's coming at last...

At the threshold of a dawn,
bidding goodbye to a sunset;
I stand amid my memories,
getting drawn into their net...

The future i must seek,
the past, how can i leave..?
Through this turmoil, i must pass,
like countless before me...

The laughter, the tears, the joys, the fears,
they pull me back, with their binding strings;
The strings must be broken...
...The memories would stay
I must move on, with this ever moving flow,
chartering a new path on this ever trodden way...

The world i am entering, is an unfamiliar maze,
a jumble of worlds, people and ways..
The winds of change are charging around,
changing my facets, thoughts and bounds...


The past has passed, the future lies beyond;
and my spirit must grow, as the time grows on..
Yet, deep in my heart, in some hidden chest,
the past would be saved up, for some future day...

The days gone by would never return,
Yet, deep in my heart their memories would stay...
Yet, deep in my heart their memories would stay...