Sunday 4 November 2007

Crumpled wings...


She sat alone on the floor of her attic, oblivious to the swirls of dust and layers of cobwebs that seemed to engulf all, around her.
The single candle, guttering by her side, gave this dark hole a surreal view.

She sat in the shadow, a creature of this nether world..

bent..haggard..a lost shadow..tired and hopeless, she sat, looking at the timeworn chest with the rusty heavy padlock on it.that lay on the ground next to her

She sat motionless for a long time, wondering, what use it would be to unlock this chest after so long, what use to look at her treasure trove..her rusty collection of the past.

Something within her had died forever and that day she had locked this trunk and left it to rust here never to be opened again..

Then why had she come back to this room?
Why was she sitting here, amidst scratching rats and raining spiders, looking at her damn past?

She didn't know..

may be the only way she could make it stop haunting her was to set it free
the only way to get away was to accept it with open arms

so, slowly, she took the old unused key from around her neck, where it was held always, with a pink satin ribbon, lying next to where her heart had once beaten..

and she put the key in the heavy lock and turned it

the lock screamed, resisting this alien being..then finally let go and turned to reveal, what she had so dreaded to see

lying inside, was her heart, shriveled and dead..small..shrunken..bereft of the love that had once made it tick

below it were the flowers of her desires..wilted and dried as the heart that had bore them

just by their side lay her dusty dreams, the ones she had woven with her nibble fingers...soft as the softest silk..with colours so vibrant..they had seemed to flow

all that was left of them were rough beaten rags sucked of colour..a still stagnant white

her fingers moved over lovingly caressing them and putting them aside gently to look at the cracked glass of her once magical mirror

she looked for the beautiful face whose smile had once lighted its confines..the twinkling eyes that had added to its shine..but all she found were sunken eyes staring back with tears gone dry and a face so sallow and grey that it seemed little more than the shadow of a corpse

then a soft flutter distracted her..she looked around the room for the source of this commotion..but realized it was coming from the trunk..she wondered what was in that tomb to cause such a sound..she dug her hands in and felt a hesitant movement at the bottom

she removed all that lay above it and stared at it with widened eyes
there at the bottom of that lifeless ensemble lay a pair of broken wings..struggling feebly against the bands that held them down...
yes..the wings that had once been her pride..her companion..her guide..they had taken her beyond the limits of this world..her imagination..her power..that had let her fly..free and unshackled through the sky..before..
before she had fallen..crashed to this unforgiving earth..bound and shattered these wings had been..and she had tossed them along with everything else into her doomed chest..and here they lay before her eyes..

crumpled and discoloured..crippled and broken..mangled beyond recognition..yet..yet alive ..


ans as she saw them straining against their binds..something within her ignited again..
a light..a feeble one..weak yet..but a light nonetheless capable of turning into a torch again

for the first time in ages she felt a soft beat, where her heart had once been..a tiny tremor..a light whistle..of hope..of life
she felt her hands reach out and touch the soft wings..soothing them giving them assurance that they would be whole again

she lifted them out and put them back where they belonged..on her..
and tentatively lifted them..
they ached..they bled..yet they held on..she felt her feet lift again..
she felt the free wizz of air..
she wasn't flying yet..
but in her newly reinstated heart she knew that soon she would..

her tender wings would be powerful again and she would fly off once more, beyond the reach of these shackles, lifting her face up to the free wind and letting it carry her off to the land of silky flowing colours..

28 comments:

Tabz said...

Thoughtful... and revealing!

~Tabz

umangexuberance said...

@tabz
thoughtful..well yes..and revealing...well, what can i say..
my blog is my diary..i let flow all that's within me here..as the title says "pieces of my tattered soul across this stark white screen"..that is exactly what this post is..a fragment of my soul that i have smeared across these white pages..

thanks :)

DestinyFavChild said...

"I'm a God on my knees, when you'r hurt, when you suffer, I'm your angel undercover. I've been numbed, I'm revived can't say I'm not alive, you know I wouldn't want it any other way...You gotta get to know me to really GET what I'm saying here ... be warned though ... ‘coz just when you think you've got me figured out...the season's already changing..."

Nikhil said...

Now this was something I had been looking forward to for a while :-)

The torch will light...
The wings will be fluttering stronger and happily than ever before...
The colours will be back...

Keep the faith and follow your reinstated heart.. :-)

Good Job!! Really pleased to read this one...

Sameera said...

Extremely well written!Hope lives on,no matter what.

Btw,was the ending inspired by Pandora's Box? :)

umangexuberance said...

@neel
hmmm...

umangexuberance said...

@nikhil thank you soooooooooo much for that wonderful comment
its made me happier still :)

umangexuberance said...

@sameera
thanks i am honoured
and pandora's box..well no it wasn't inspired from that..it was about the way i am feeling right now.. :)

FireWhisky said...

"from the ashes a fire shall be woken,
a light from the shadows shall spring.
renewed shall be blade that was broken -
the crownless again shall be king."

Lord of the Rings (Th return of the King)

umangexuberance said...

@firewhisky..thought provoking i must say..

NEHA CHANDOK!!!!! said...

hope against hope...yet hope is hope!


beautiful and complete in a way!!

:)

umangexuberance said...

@neha thanks :)
nice to know you liked what i write
thanks for stopping by :)

lucfier said...

nice work umang,nice to see this vibrant and positive post from you hope her wings take this girl to land of joy and happiness

umangexuberance said...

@lucifer
thanks :)
and i hope so too :)

Anarchy said...

Inspiring... to say the least..
just wish I dont end up like her.. or fall like her! :D

kudos!!!

umangexuberance said...

@anarchy..thanks
and i have a feeling you will never end up like her :)

Supriya Narang said...

my God , umang..
u're getting more serious day by day...
This is really strong!

umangexuberance said...

@soup
i hope its for the better :)
and thanks

maverick said...

@umang..interesting...nice words...but then the last few posts are hovering arnd a very similar pt...i guess u need to add a pinch of salt..a drop of lemon..n a shot of tequila to all this :)

umangexuberance said...

@maverick
u might not have noticed but there was a paradigm shift in the feel of this post as compared to the last few...this was about hope and moving forward

maverick said...

ya i did notice the paradigm shift..but then it was very subtle..my only viewpt is that it cud ve been a lil more prominent :)...thats y i ended with the tequila thingie...

s.H.a.S.h.I said...

well even i feel theres too much of sadness and darkness in ur writing.. i can see ure a very good writer.. have amazing vocab..( thode words ke liye i had to check dictionary.. lol ) .. so nxt time write sumtin which wud enlighten than fill ur eyes wid tears..
I liked the ray of hope ending to ure writing , now carry tht forward to ur nxt post.. ' Maybe She can finally fly ' :) just a suggestion..
btw the pic more looks like a he than she :P

umangexuberance said...

@maverick
i don't know...i write whatever i am feeling
i can not write something hopeful when i am feeling sad
when i wrote this post, i was taking account of all that i had become these past few months and was looking for hope and light..it can not be a sudden transformation..it is slow and subtle..
by the way, thanks for the wonderful comment..it was very touching..i hope i can get back to my exuberant self again :)

umangexuberance said...

@shashi
my writing depict what i am feeling at the moment..in fact i write to pour out all i have within me..
since i am going through a sad phase i write sad posts
hopefully i'll get back to my exuberant self and would then come up with something colourful

and my being a good writer..thank you..i am truly honoured by your compliment :)

now carry tht forward to ur nxt post.. ' Maybe She can finally fly ' :)
alas..if only fate would let her do so..if only her wings are not crumpled and clipped each time she unfurls them..till then...

Gonecase said...

Mein gayab kya hua kuch time ke liye, aap to mahaan lekhak ho gye, hehe, kidding. Amazing write and good to see that it ended on a positive note. Mujhe bhi apni sharan mein le lo guruji.

P.S. Don't get me wrong but your writes are better(read outworldlyif that exists for that matter) than your poems

umangexuberance said...

@gonecase
arrey aap to kuch zyada hi tarif kr re hn..ye kaniz kahan is layak.. :)
and guruji :O
nai nai
hum to ap se inspire hote hn..really u r a master sid and i am truly honoured and flattered..thank you :)

Gonecase said...

Arre wah, mujhe nahi pata tha ki aapko bhi maze lene mein maza aata hai. Kaniz, hehehe, hamare liye paani laya jaye :P kidding, aur inspire, master :o, kyo gareeb ka mazak udate ho, whtever i wrote, its worth it

umangexuberance said...

@gonecase
ab kya kahein aapse..hume to maze lene me itna maza ata h ki bas
*gets u a glass of water* "ye lijiye jal mere aka" *bats her eyelds nd hides behind her dupatta in proper mughlai style* lolzzz :D :D :D